On June 2nd 1875 the world ended.
No more would we be able to ensconce ourselves in a cocoon of solitude. Our "life in the woods" would become a life in the wire. Our communities would be destroyed, our families wrecked, and I would have to answer the phone. On June 2nd, 1875 the first documented sound traveled through an electric wire - a sound that would ruin our lives.
Alexander Graham Bell was the servant of the devil on that day.
I don't want to hear about how the telephone is a good thing because it keeps us connected and informed. Don't tell me about all the good things that the telephone is able to do. I'm not interested in hearing your useless drivel about "oh! I can't imagine being able to not call my friends at any time, not being able to order pizza - oh, the horror!" You only say that because your all idiots. The telephone is horrific - it has produced the breakup over the telephone (and led to the truly despicable: IM breakup), it has created a whole host of new criminals and it has helped in creating a world in which it is easier for me to order authentic Indonesian food at 4 am on December 24th than it is for me to pay my taxes.
All in all, it would be a far, far better thing if all the phones would make up their collective minds to destroy themselves (yes they are sentient beings -BEINGS OF EVIL!), they would rid this world of at least one problem. (just don't destroy the internet - because life then would truly end).
2 comments:
Prince Caspian:
"And now we know what it feels like for the Jinn," said Edmund with a chuckle. "Golly! It's a bit uncomfortable to know that we can be whistled for like that. It's worse than what Father says about living at the mercy of the telephone."
See even the ubiquitous C.S. agrees with me!
First Lewis
Then Ledgerwood
Tomorrow The WORLD!
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